Three Drunk Monkeys

“bottles fill his stomach, but breastfeeding fills his soul” ― diane wiessinger January 10, 2012

Filed under: Uncategorized — drunkmunkies @ 11:36 am

The girl and I are struggling.  I went back to work last week and now she’s decided that she likes the bottle better sometimes.  If I catch her in the morning and she’s half asleep, I can nurse her, but the evenings are a struggle.  I’ve been getting home from work, bursting, and she turns away.  It’s hurtful, both emotionally and physically.  I know that she doesn’t understand what she’s doing, but it hurts nonetheless.  It’s not nipple confusion, it’s that I’m not moving fast enough.  So I pump while she eats.  But the pump doesn’t do what she can, which has led to a blocked duct.  I feel like I’ve been punched in the chest and my heart is bruised.

 

I got a supplemental nursing system, hoping that we can get back on track here.  This weekend is not going to be pleasant for any of us because I’ve decided that we’re not using any bottles.  It’s nursing all the way.  Yikes!  If she needs a little something extra, we’ll use the SNS, but she’ll still be with me.  Hopefully it will help us come through this little dark spot.  And the hubby has been super awesome… I found this blog and was reading it and it made me want to write my own today and hug Ian.  I’ll do that when I get home.

 

After I nurse my daughter.

 

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“In the childhood memories of every good cook, there’s a large kitchen, a warm stove, a simmering pot and a mom.” -Barbara Costikyan January 5, 2012

Filed under: Uncategorized — drunkmunkies @ 1:16 pm

At about 6 weeks postpartum, I started going stir crazy.  There’s only so much that you can do, and so far you can go with a new born, and I was getting a serious case of cabin fever. If/when we have the next kid, if everything goes as smoothly as it did this time, I’d be back at work the minute the doctor said it was okay.  Don’t get me wrong… I love Abby to death, but my goodness.  I need more of a break than the occasional lunch.  Ian was doing what he could to help, but he was working too.  He had his day job, and I had mine.

 

This week has been the first week back to work.  On Tuesday, I played “The Illusion of Progress” by Staind… seeking out a little melancholy.  Then yesterday (Wednesday), I played Jamiroquai and The Crystal Method.  Today, it was Orgy and Old Blind Dogs.  Moving up in the world.

 

I had suspected that I wouldn’t make a very good stay-at-home-mom.  I am right.  I think that some people are wonderful in that regard, but not me.  I have learned that absence really does make the heart grow fonder.  I look forward to seeing Abby, when before I was thinking “how long until I get a break?”  Going back to work also makes me feel like my life will be more or less normal at some point.  I know it will be different, but having a schedule and something to do that’s not dependent on Abby really makes me feel more useful.  Not that raising Abby isn’t useful, but it’s another kind of useful.

 

I know that there will be things in her life that I will miss because I’m working, but I’ll always be there when she needs me.

 

 

Granola Mom January 1, 2012

Filed under: Uncategorized — drunkmunkies @ 8:09 pm

I grew up a sort of granola girl… WWF Panda and Green Peace stickers on my binder in middle school;  subscription to National Geographic magazine and videos;  volunteer work with scouts including camping with younger scouts.  Later, when I moved to the Seattle area, WTA and NOLS stickers on my car.

 

However, during late high school and throughout college, I lost my edge and was sucked into the capitalist system of Northern Virginia.  I would dress up to go to the mall that had Versace stores in it.  I made sure that I was dressed well and had makeup on.  I could’ve fed a small country with the money I spent at Coach in a year (seriously).

 

Oh how I’ve changed again.

 

The way I envision myself parenting is very different than the way I actually am.  I would love to breastfeed until she’s at least one, but that’s a lot to be asking when you work full time.  I’m taking supplements and drinking crazy teas to increase my supply as it is.  I actually thought about whether I would do it passed 12 months.  I think that if I still was able to, a quick nip before bed time is okay.  Anything beyond that isn’t me… at least not now, but I’ve tried to do the things that I see as best for Abby, and things could change.

 

I’m a baby wearer… maybe not to extent that some people are, but I would like to be more so than I am.  I do it when I can – it just makes more sense most of the time.  Why would you wrestle with a car seat or a stroller when you can strap her on and have two hands free?  I’ve gotten many envious and surprised looks from people when you have a grocery basket in one hand and your cell phone in the other with a kid asleep on you.  And most kids love to be carried anyway.  There are a ton of reason that you should carry them… it’s good for everyone involved I think.

 

I’m doing cloth diapers – again… there are many reasons to do it, and they aren’t anywhere as hard as people think they are.  I actually made a joke with someone about them after a relay race at a baby shower.  Turns out that there have been a lot of developments when it comes to cloth diapers.  They aren’t just for hippies anymore.

 

Well… maybe they are.  But I’ve already written about that.

 

Turns out that I’m a bit of a granola mom… but I’m the chewy kind, not the crunchy kind.  I still believe in vaccines (I trust my doc, and we’ve already had a discussion about this), and I don’t make my own shampoo or soap.  I’m not a stay at home mom… I will be returning to work this week.  We don’t eat organic everything (or anything for that matter).  I’m not vegan or even vegetarian   I just do what I can to bring her up right with a respect for herself, for her family/friends, and her environment.

 

 

Oy Vay… it’s a McKenzie!

Filed under: Uncategorized — drunkmunkies @ 8:08 pm

What’s in a name?

 

Avigayl Miriam – that’s Abby’s Hebrew name.  Ironically, she received it on Christmas Eve with all her grandparents, one aunt, one uncle, a niece and a nephew present.

 

I converted several years ago and got to choose my own name – Koranit.  There are a few meanings, but the one I like the best was that it meant “thistle,” which is the national flower of Scotland.  After the mikvah which designated my official conversion, my mother-in-law gave me a beautiful thistle pin.  At Abby’s ceremony, they read the parents’ Hebrew names (mine and Ian’s) and everyone kept trying to call me Rivka, which is the Hebrew version of Rebecca.  Also interesting, was the oh-so-subtle reaction when they read my name as Koranit bet Abraham and Sarah…. Abraham and Sarah being the default parent names if your own aren’t Jewish – a dead give away that I had converted.

 

What is also odd about out little family is that I also kept my own last name when we got married.  Not that there’s anything wrong with Ian’s, but I’m a McKenzie.  If I changed my name it felt like I was changing who I am.  There wasn’t really a good way to go about explaining this to Ian.  He didn’t press the matter because he’s smart, but I believe his mother has brought it up with him.  With Abby coming into the picture, there was never a question about her last name – she took his.  He has brought it up with me about changing my own, but it’s a really hard change to make.  Credit cards, cars, tax information, work information, insurance – there are a billion people that you have to notify.  Does it make me lazy?  Maybe a little, but it’s not the main reason I kept it. Thinking of it as an old-fashioned way to declare the woman as property also isn’t the main reason.  It’s just not me.

 

Will I ever take his?  I don’t know.  But I have the paperwork filled out and signed but not dated.