At about 6 weeks postpartum, I started going stir crazy. There’s only so much that you can do, and so far you can go with a new born, and I was getting a serious case of cabin fever. If/when we have the next kid, if everything goes as smoothly as it did this time, I’d be back at work the minute the doctor said it was okay. Don’t get me wrong… I love Abby to death, but my goodness. I need more of a break than the occasional lunch. Ian was doing what he could to help, but he was working too. He had his day job, and I had mine.
This week has been the first week back to work. On Tuesday, I played “The Illusion of Progress” by Staind… seeking out a little melancholy. Then yesterday (Wednesday), I played Jamiroquai and The Crystal Method. Today, it was Orgy and Old Blind Dogs. Moving up in the world.
I had suspected that I wouldn’t make a very good stay-at-home-mom. I am right. I think that some people are wonderful in that regard, but not me. I have learned that absence really does make the heart grow fonder. I look forward to seeing Abby, when before I was thinking “how long until I get a break?” Going back to work also makes me feel like my life will be more or less normal at some point. I know it will be different, but having a schedule and something to do that’s not dependent on Abby really makes me feel more useful. Not that raising Abby isn’t useful, but it’s another kind of useful.
I know that there will be things in her life that I will miss because I’m working, but I’ll always be there when she needs me.