I thought I was going to be one of the lucky ones. The new mothers who look like they were never pregnant… and I was, for about a month or so. Then I gained back the weight – plus some.
I had just started the Couch to 5K in November or December. I’d repeated the first week 3 times, but couldn’t bring myself to actually run for long periods of time. Then I found out I was pregnant and I stopped going (I’m a morning gym person, not the best thing for a pregnant lady). I stopped drinking (as you should) and at the first prenatal appointment, found out that I’d lost 4 pounds. Well, woohoo for me. The doc said that happens sometimes because of the morning sickness, which I didn’t have any of. We figured it was because I’d stopped drinking beer. At the next appointment a month later, I’d lost 4 more. I got scolded by the doctor and said I wasn’t allow to lose anymore… which I did. Four more. She put me on a high fat diet (yogurt, whole milk), and generally told me don’t lose anymore. I gained one by the next appointment, and then it was a healthy weight gain from then on. From my original weight (before I lost anything), I probably gained 15 pounds or so. If you include the weight I lost in the beginning, I was well within the normal limits. My plan when I went into labor was to weigh myself before and after. Well, everything went so fast, I didn’t think to, so I don’t know what my final weight was.
I had Abby, and the next day I was in my pre-pregnancy clothes… AND THEY WERE TOO BIG. This was great. I was down to a weight that I liked and I didn’t have to do squat. I was breast feeding and eating like a lumberjack… and then I started having issues with her refusal and that led to supply issues. But I was still eating like a lumberjack. Now I’m up to 145. 😦 My goal is 20 pounds to lose.
I want to be in a happy place before Abby really starts to realize my attitude about my own body. I never had any body image problems growing up. I don’t know where this is all coming from. I have fat days now. I know that I’ve had a kid and there are things (like larger tummies) that come with it, but because I had that faint glimmer of a work-free fit body, I’m disappointed in what I am now. So I’ve done something drastic, and signed up for the Tough Mudder (http://toughmudder.com/). If I don’t train before I do this, I’m certainly going to get injured (hell, I might get injured WHILE training for it). But I want to be healthy for her, and rein this in before I want to lose 50 pounds, not just 20.
Kids are so receptive to feelings at a young age, and some adults just don’t realize that. I don’t want her to see that I’m unhappy in my own skin. That’s actually one of the reasons that I’ve decided to do baby-led solids… I want her to have a good, healthy relationship with food.
“There is nothing more rare, nor more beautiful, than a woman being unapologetically herself; comfortable in her perfect imperfection. To me, that is the true essence of beauty.”
― Steve Maraboli