I was a senior in high school when the shootings at Columbine High School happened. When I got home and mom told me what happened, I was sad.
The shooting today in a Connecticut elementary school absolutely terrifies me. My daughter is 14 months old, and the thought of this happening to her leaves me quaking and unable to think clearly.
I spent the entire day at work avoiding the news, with my co-working calling out information occasionally. I couldn’t, I just couldn’t read anything online. I knew that once I lost control, I would never get it back. I waited until the last five minutes, and then looked at a few articles online. I sobbed the first half of the commute home.
As a parent (as a HUMAN), how do you deal with this? How do talk to your children about what happened? How do you explain to them that it’s unlikely (you hope) it’s something they will ever experience? How do you deal with the loss of a child? You can’t.
One of the reasons that I didn’t want to be a stay at home mom was because I wanted to have a life outside of my children. If (G-d forbid) something ever happened to my child, what would I have left to turn to? Everything I did would remind me of her. I learned today that it doesn’t matter if you’re a SAHM or work outside the home, if you lose a child, it changes you forever. There’s nothing else to say about it. You’d be crushed.
I can’t even begin to imagine what those families are going through tonight. They have to wake up tomorrow to Christmas presents they have under the tree, or hiding in the closet. Every other sentence I try to type, I stop and shake my head and shrug. What can you say – what can you do – to prevent something like this?
Right now, there is no motive. We don’t know why he walked in there and looked at children – children – and decided to murder them. A story from one of the bloggers that I follow (Birth Without Fear):
“Wanted to get back on to share this with you. This day was filled with tears and hugs and spending time with our children. We decided to take all 5 of them to see Rise of the Guardians. A movie full of wonder and hope (highly suggest it) and they were all so precious sitting sandwiched between my husband and myself. My heart was full.
On the way to the theather(sic), we were discussing today’s tragedy in CT with them. My oldest daughter (9) said, “Mom, tonight when we pray for these families, can we please also pray for the man that did this? Something was very wrong and we need to pray for him too.” I felt so humbled. To have the example of a child that could clearly see through the terror and pain…and that all of us…evil or not need to have compassion. ♥”
I find that amazing.
I haven’t said everything I want to. I can’t find the words – there are no words I guess. I can’t explain how I’m feeling in a simple way. I’m sure that most people can understand that at least.
Please keep these families in your thoughts, and make sure you hug your little ones and tell them you love them.