So, since November of last year (2012), I’ve lost 15.4 pounds. It mostly been since the end of April when I started P90. When I came back from Florida for vacation in July, I started P90X. I did three weeks of that, then life happened and I was working on a big project for work, and something else came up… I decided to take 3 weeks off. I started up again on a Monday. Then I went to a baseball game Tuesday night, but I didn’t work out that morning because I was going to be up late, and I didn’t get up on Wednesday morning to work out, because I’d been up late the night before. That was 2 weeks ago. So one workout in 5 weeks. I’ve been eating properly at least.
So I have learned something about this, and it’s not what you think. It’s not what *I* thought it would be. I have learned that I NEED to workout. It’s not about the weight loss or the muscle gain.
It’s about my sleeping like crap.
It’s about my mood being in the tank.
It’s about fighting the nagging thoughts that I’ve fallen off the wagon and I’ll never get up again.
I need to recommit myself to this again. I tend to show signs of Seasonal Affective Disorder (ironically, the acronym for that is SAD)…. The mopey Eeyore feeling during the winter. It’s hard to shake when you don’t see the sunlight for months at a time. When the sun is still down when you go to work, and then it’s down when you leave (and you don’t leave to eat lunch AND you don’t have any windows) it’s really hard. The days all morph together with artificial lights. It’s actually really scary sometimes – knowing you won’t see daylight for at least a week. If there’s sun on the weekends, you’ll go on a hike even though it’s bitterly cold because – hey! It’s sunny!
I’m hoping to fight this. It happens every year. It makes me unhappy. Unhappy with stuff that I’m normally happy with, and it brings up things that I don’t normally think about let alone dwell on.
Should I have stayed at home with Abby? If I do, can we afford it? If I don’t can we afford it? Should I look for a new job? I like the one I have, but there’s always the “what ifs”. What if I made more? What if the commute was shorter? Then that comes back to staying at home with Abby.
I’m not sure what this post was about. It was supposed to be about how I need to workout to avoid pity parties, and then it turned into a pity party. So, I guess that’s proof right there.
I need to get back to the gym.
Seriously. Sorry about this post. That wasn’t where I planned to go with it. Good thing I don’t do this for a living….